Sadhana - 40 -
This week marks the end of my 1st ever 40 day Sadhana.
Started upon my return from Bali, this practice has seen so much of me. It first saw me lost, still high on the Tantric teachings I had received and confused by the state of a world under lockdown. But day after day, all in me was changing as I was becoming steadier, gentler and more graceful. The ground being shaky I had no choice but ground in my own earth. And so I anchored my soul to my body.
The beginning was difficult. I was resistant. By sticking to one same Moon sequence, one same Pranayama & Meditation technique I felt like I was depriving myself from all the other practices that could nourish me in so many different ways. I was wrong, I was fearful. I feared boredom, I feared losing strength, I even feared losing my body features. After all, all I was fearing was stillness and with it, the facing of my own mind. But the benefits were undeniable as I flowed through it day after day. 🌗
Doing the same practice every morning for 40 days, regardless on the state of the world, regardless on my mood, my sleep and my will has showed me once again the power of commitment & discipline. I felt so lucky to be able to build a relationship with each posture, each breath and each in-between-breath. The practice was offering me so much time and space to build intimacy with my own Self; until I felt myself merging with the surroundings, merging with my practice, becoming every posture.
I now treasure Stillness. I treasure Silence. I treasure the slow pace of embodied movements. I salute each of the few postures I met every morning for they each time taught me the biggest lessons. They welcomed me in, my body my heart and mind. They welcomed me into their space even when I was ungrateful or reluctant to be there. They loved me, unconditionally - so much that I got glimpses of what it would feel like to live a life loving myself every second. 🌖
And so I kept coming back. I surprised myself wishing to stay a little longer. Towards the end, my practice felt shorter, until it felt too short. I still had so much conversation in me.
Repeating a practice is a real challenge. It requires a lot of discipline, will and courage. It implies you do not listen to that morning voice that will find hundreds of arguments for you to “keep sleeping a little longer today”. It involves you preserving a beginner’s mind so that everyday you can explore your practice for the first time. It keeps you humble by reminding you that there is always more to learn. 🌕
It is not always easy, but the rewards are priceless. You feel empowered, connected, and filled with a calm and contained energy. You start cultivating so much respect for the practice and for yourself that day 40 becomes a very hard day - it is like saying goodbye to an old friend. 🌒
Yogis, cherish your practice, 🌓
Your practice is alive, let it be so
Let it breathe,
let it evolve,
let it take you places 🌔
let it bring you back home.